From teens to toddlers
by FifthDayOfMay
Summary: When Bakura teaches or at least tries to teach Juhux to freeze time. Strange things happen.


Sarah : The following program is different from your previously scheduled program. It is not a test but a warning. So I recommend you head the warning and run like a chipmunk before you get eaten alive by stupidity. –smiles- Thank you.

Reeney : Can I have a taco?

Lyn : You already have a taco.

Reeney : But this one had lettuce on it.

Lyn : Then pick it off.

Reeney : No, I want a new one.

Sarah : Can I have that one then? I happen to like lettuce.

Reeney : I WANT A NEW TACO DAMN IT!!!

Sarah : THEN GIVE ME YOURS!!

Reeney : NO!!

Lyn : Oh for the love of biscuits and baby oil.

Sarah : -blinks- Biscuits and what?

Reeney : TACO!!!!

Twitching and glaring, those were the only two things Bakura could really think to do right now. You would do the same thing if you were in his bloody situation. Here he was, the King of Thieves, Lord of Darkness, Prince of all Bloody Fucking Wrongdoings stuck taking care of a very small, very smelly Reeney. Now some amongst you may be wondering how this happened, it's none of your damn business but since you asked so nicely we might as well tell you. It all started several hours ago with Bakura, Juhux, and some good old shadow magic training.

That just screams train wreck waiting to happen, am I right? Of course I am. So anyway, they were out in the back yard working hard on a tidbit of magic that Juhux was having trouble with. Bakura was trying to teach her how to freeze time, but no matter what, she just couldn't seem to get it right. The blonde thief in training frowned at the pile of sand on the ground that used to be a glass bottle.

She wasn't quite sure what she was doing wrong but for every time she attempted to stop the fall of the bottle, it was somehow turned to sand and splattered across the grass. The backyard was beginning to look a great deal like a beach, which was making Bakura just a little bit ticked off.

"What the bloody hell?!?!" He screamed aggravated. "How many damn bottles do you have to fuck up before you get it right?!?!" There was nothing like a little positive reinforcement to set someone on the right track. The Thief King growled rubbing the bridge of his nose.

They had been working on this spell for several hours with the same result every time. It shouldn't have even been bloody possible to turn the bottle into sand! He glared at his apprentice who seemed to be at a loss for what to do, having seemingly followed all of her sensei's instructions to a T. That only pissed him off even more. If he knew what she was doing wrong he'd fix it, but the damnable girl just made the same mistake over and over and over again.

He really needed an aspirin, or an ax, a nice big ax he could cleave Juhux's head in two with. Smirking he chuckled at the image of his apprentice lying dead on the ground. Of course Mariku would most likely try and murder him if he killed her, not like he cared. Also his daughter had gotten rather attached to the girl, and would be extremely cross with him if he were to kill her. Bakura let out something halfway between a hiss and a sigh running a dark hand through his short white hair.

Sometimes he really hated his life. "Sensei?" Juhux called quietly. "I think there's something wrong with the gla-I mean sand."

Bakura looked at her latest attempt at freezing time and groaned. The sand was floating. Not only was she turning glass into sand, but now she was turning it into floating sand. Will wonders never cease?

A loud thud came from somewhere inside the house followed by a shriek of pain and yelling. That could only mean one thing. The Pharaoh's daughter had come over to wake up Reeney. As much as he hated the Ra damned Pharaoh and his freakishly tall daughter, he had to admit that she was the only person he had ever met who could manage to wake up Reeney. Either the two of them were really that close, or she was some sort of sorceress.

He was still vying for the second option. The two thieves couldn't help but listen as Lyn went through the daily ritual of dragging Reeney out of bed.

"What the hell was that for damnit?!" Reeney screeched most assuredly at Lyn.

Lyn at this point had probably picked up a heavy blunt object and was towering, menacingly over the raven haired girl. "It's your own fault ya dingbat!" She replied just as loudly. "Now get the friggin crud up!"

"No!" Reeney argued. "It's too early for this!"

Bakura could practically see the look on the brats face, and if it weren't for it being aimed at Reeney, he would be very impressed. "It's two in the afternoon!!!" This went on for another half hour before the two girls finally made their way outside to join Bakura and Juhux. Lyn blinked raising an eyebrow at the sand covered lawn.

"Geez, didn't know you guys were making a beach out here." She muttered. "What kind of training is this anyway?"

Bakura twitched. "That's it!!" He bellowed startling several birds from there trees. " I can't fucking stand any more of this crap!! Figure it out on your own, I need a beer!!"

With that the King of Thieves (in this anime at least) stormed inside and slammed the door shut. The three girls stood staring at the door with varying degrees of confusion lining their faces.

Reeney turned to Juhux pointing at the door. "What the fuck is wrong with daddy?" She asked.

Juhux just shook her head slumping against a tree. "Don't even ask Reeney, don't even ask."

Lyn sat down next to her, blowing a lock of brown hair out of her eyes, or at least trying. The darn thing wouldn't move, she frowned blowing at it again, but to no avail. "I'll take this as a declaration of war hair." She swore under her breath. "Mark my words I will defeat you."

"Lynni." Reeney called snapping Lyn out of her glaring contest with her hair. " Who are you talking to." Lyn blinked looking pointedly up at a very interesting leaf.

"So Juhux." She said changing the subject, Reeney pouted at this but said nothing for the moment. "What's with all the sand?"

Juhux frowned. "It's supposed to be frozen." She muttered.

Reeney blinked. "You were trying to freeze sand? What the hell for?"

Juhux blushed looking down. "I wasn't trying to freeze sand. I was trying to freeze time." Lyn laughed earning a small glare from Juhux.

"So was this an accident with and hourglass then?"

"Ten bucks said the hourglass beat their asses!" Reeney volunteered molding a sand castle out of one of the larger piles.

Lyn grinned raising her hand. "I second that notion, all in favor say exduh!"

There were two exuberant shouts of exduh, and one very annoyed snarl. Guess who made which sound. "Cut it out you two!" Juhux snapped. "I was supposed to be stopping glass bottles from breaking by freezing time but-"

She grimaced. "Somehow I just turned them into sand." Reeney raised an eyebrow then giggled.

"How the fuck did you do that?!"

Juhux glared at her but said nothing, instead she sulked, menacingly. Actually it looked more like she was pouting then sulking menacingly. There really wasn't anything really menacing about it. A loud crash came from inside the house followed by some rather creative oaths which most likely came from Bakura. Considering the thief was well enough to swear like that his condition must have been fine so the three of them decided to pretend they hadn't heard anything.

That was probably in there best interests, for the Lord of Thievery had somehow managed to drop his entire wine cabinet from the third story of the house to the basement. We'll pretend that's possible for his sake but still ignore that it happened. Back to our devilishly evil heroines and the brooding thieves apprentice. Don't even ask where Ryou is for anyone who was planning on asking. I ate him, he's in my belly now, enough said.

Juhux glared at the sand that Reeney was so happily making little villages out of. That probably would have been cute if she didn't destroy the villages after she built them, stomping around like Godzilla. Juhux swore she saw miniature sand people running about planning their attack, waiting for the right time to strike. She didn't know if she should be worried about this or not. That wasn't why she was glaring at the sand though.

No, if the sand people tried to destroy Reeney she was sure Lyn could easily beat their little sand pants off. She was glaring at the sand for the mere reason that it was sand, and not frozen glass like it was supposed to be. What had she done wrong anyway? She had followed all of Bakura's instructions, and executed them to near perfection, so the glass should have frozen. Instead, it was sand, dirty, smelly, evil sand.

Juhux blinked, did one of the sand people just shoot a miniature missile at Reeney? The raven haired girl yipped glaring at the sand person before stepping on him/her. It was hard to tell considering their height. Lyn laughed not being nearly as disturbed by this as she should have been. Then again once you've been sucked into a TV, met magical thieves, found out, your father is five thousand years old pharaoh, and eaten a sandwich that tried to eat you back, nothing can really surprise you.

Growling Reeney stomped down a few more sand villages. "You got a problem with me you fucking pussy lickers?!"

"Sir it's on to us!!" One of them screamed probably into a miniature little walky-talky. "We need back up!!"

"Back up my ass." Reeney muttered smacking one of the little sand plains out of the sky. She grinned evilly looking vaguely reminiscent of her father, go figure. "Take that, fuckers."

Lyn fell over laughing, Juhux just stared, some of her anger at not being able to freeze time forgotten. She twitched, life in Domino city could never be normal could it?

Juhux tugged on Lyn's hair, the brunette continued laughing but at a less extreme degree then before. That was all, the acknowledgement she needed.

"What the hell did she do?" She asked.

Lyn just laughed shaking her head. Juhux sighed, that didn't provide much information. After another minute or two Lyn got up and pulled on an army helmet. She straightened her clothes, pulled out a water gun, and grinning she marched over to aid her friend in combat against the sand people. Juhux had to admit that it was interesting to watch the two girls fighting with sand that seemed hell bent on killing them, especially considering the small stature of the sandy denizens.

"Ow!" Reeney screamed when one of the little creatures stabbed her foot. Not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to piss her off. "That hurt damnit!!" Screaming profanities Reeney bounced after her offenders on one foot squirting water at them.

Did I mention how fun it was watching them fight sand?

"Juhux get over here and help us!!" Lyn demanded. The thief blinked at her uncaringly, not wanting to get involved in this sand war. If she were Sarah (1) she would definitely join in, but she wasn't, so she wouldn't. "Either help or I'll break all of your dragon figurines.

Juhux's eyes widened with fear. "You wouldn't dare." Lyn smirked.

"If I can threaten (2) Larry the eyeliner, I can break your figurines." With that she shot another stream of water at the army of sand. Unlike Reeney who with her short range water gun was right in the middle of all the action, Lyn had a water sniper. Like a water gun, only with a more long distance attack. So Lyn sat safely to the side of the battle zone, picking of parts of the army from a distance.

Juhux groaned standing up and making her way over to where Reeney stood fighting sand. She had come to the conclusion that she had done something to the sand when she was blasting it with shadow magic. Since she didn't know how to reverse the effects, she decided to do the next best thing, improvise.

"Argh! Pick up a water gun and join me Uncle!!" Reeney cheered with a pirate like drawl. "These beastie's be deserving to meet a watery end. SET FIRE TO THE MAIN SAIL!!!"

Juhux opened her mouth to say that the last part wasn't really piratey but then stopped herself realizing that it kinda was. "When did we become pirates?!" Lyn called from her side of the battlefield.

Reeney replied with a hearty ARGH! Then she went back to shooting. Raising an eyebrow Juhux rolled up her sleeves, and kicked aside a few soldiers. They really weren't much of a threat, Reeney and Lyn just liked complicating thing

"If you two get to be pirates." She said with a hint of sarcasm. "Then I get to be a shadow magic wielding thief."

Either her sarcasm was unheard or ignored for Reeney snorted at her and said. "Argh! Next the thieving lass will want to be a pirate! Girls and their delusions, shiver me timbers, walk the plank and all that!!" Then she stepped on some more sand men.

"So says the pirate daughter of the King of thieves." Juhux muttered a little ticked off by Reeney's joke. She pulled some shadow magic to the tips of her fingers, causing them to glow purple.

Reeney noticed them and whined about it. "Hey, how come you get to glow?"

"You could do it to you know." Juhux smirked waving her fingers in the air tauntingly. "All you have to do is become a thief." Reeney pouted menacingly.

"I don't wanna damnit." A group of sand men started shooting at her foot. " Cut that out you shitheads!!" Having lost interest in Juhux's shadow powers she went back to wiping out the sand army.

Juhux sighed blasting a sand tank with a small ray of purple energy. She had almost convinced Reeney to join the family business, she shrugged. There were bound to be other chances. One of the sand men screamed jumping onto her ankle, Juhux yipped kicking him off. Where were they all coming from?

No way there were this many. Frowning, Juhux watched as some of the troops Lyn and Reeney destroyed reformed themselves. She blinked, well that was weird. The thief girl blasted a few more men, waited a moment, and watched them morph back into angry sand people. She twitched, how the hell did she manage to make evil magic sand?

Also she had a feeling that both Reeney and Lyn already knew about the sand reforming, but knowing them they were just making a scene. Right as she though that Lyn ran past chasing a group of screaming sand men screeching xduh at the top of her lungs. There was never a dull moment with them. It would probably be better for her sanity to just figure out how to make the sand not alive. Stepping on a sand building, Juhux thought about what she could do

Closing her eyes, she focused a small amount of shadow energy in the palms of her hands. Maybe if her flawed time stopping spell gave the sand life, it could take it away too. "Reeney, go stand next to Lyn please."

Reeney blinked at her. "Why?"

"So that I don't accidently turn you into sand." Juhux replied in a slightly strained voice. Reeney snorted but moved anyway, not noticing the small tube that fell out of her pocket.

"Damn." Reeney muttered stuffing her water gun behind one ear. "I wanted to kill some more sandy thingies."

Lyn rolled her eyes twirling her own gun in the palm of her hand. "Well then oh smart one, you shouldn't have asked her to help in the first place."

The charcoal haired girl frowned. "You're the one who asked for help you fucker."

"Lies!!" Lyn shouted thrusting her arms into the air. "All, lies!!"

"Will you two be quiet so I can concentrate?!" Juhux snapped. Reeney turned to glare/rant at her but was stopped by the sight of a strangely eyeliner shaped tube on the ground surrounded by sand people. It was right in Juhux's line of fire.

"LARRY!!!" Reeney yelled running to save her beloved eyeliner.

Virtual candy bar for whoever can figure out what happens next. Anyone who says the eyeliner dies gets a tuba shoved up their nose. It all happened seemingly in slow motion, one minute Reeney was standing next to Lyn, ranting about sand people, and destruction, the next she was right in front of Juhux. The thief's eyes widened in shock as the hyper black haired teen appeared from seemingly out of nowhere, screaming something about saving Larry. Unfortunately she had already cast the spell, and couldn't do anything to stop it.

Reeney only managed to pick up her eyeliner, before letting out a gasp of pain. There was an explosion of sand, forcing the other two girls to turn away, and when it was safe to look again there was a large cloud of dust obscuring their vision.

Lyn's eyes went wide with shock "REENEY!!" She cried rushing into the dust cloud, using the top of her shirt to cover her mouth and nose. "Darnit where are you ya idget?!?!"

As the dust began to clear Juhux followed after Lyn into the site of the once battleground, looking as sick as she felt. She managed to find Lyn kneeling next to pile of Reeney's clothing, tears leaking out of her eyes. The devastated girl sobbed brokenly clutching one of her friend's shoes in her hands

"Reeney." She whispered. "You stupid freaktard."

A muffled gurgle sounded from underneath Reeney's shirt, as if to answer the justly given insult. Lyn blinked, rubbing some of the tears out of her eyes.

"What the crud?" She murmured as strangely lumpy part of Reeney's shirt began to wiggle.

Frowning Juhux kneeled down next to Lyn, poking at a tiny lump in the pile. The lump cooed in protest its doubling its wiggling efforts. Both girls were slightly hesitant to discover what was hiding in their spirited away companions shirt, but Lyn in slightly less so. So with caution, the green eyed girl ruffled through the shirt uncovering something that made her eyebrows fly up to greet her hairline. Juhux however began to laugh hysterically, wrapping her arms around her stomach and falling onto the ground.

Lyn would have smacked her if she wasn't so shocked. For there, sitting in a pile of Reeney's clothes, was a baby with sparse black curls, clutching a tube of eyeliner. `

1.) Its is something I really want to do. It sounds like so much fun. Like a water war with sand. XDDD I have simple goals and simple pleasures. Also the guns aren't made out of anything Lyn's allergic to, mostly because I'm using my magical writing powers to say they aren't.

2.) She's only ever threatened obviously considering Larry's still alive and well…at least I hope. I'm not sure, maybe Lyn has sought some horrible revenge on Larry. I'm keeping it at threaten though just to be safe

Sarah : And now its time for a healthy dose of writers commentary. Brought to you by comments are us. We catch em' you buy em'!

Reeney : GET OFF THE STAGE!!!

Lyn : There is no stage ya idget.

Reeney : There should be.

Sarah : Can I talk now?

Reeney : VIVA LA RESISTANCE BITCHES!!!

Suddenly a heard of chickens ran past affectively distracting Reeney who ran after them screaming happily.

Lyn : That was random.

Sarah : And that's our moto.

Lyn : I though it was 'Fish, fresh fish, we catch em you buy em.'

Sarah : Not anymore!!

Reeney : Quick!! Someone get me a knife! I'm gonna cut this chickens head off!!

Lyn : Think of a better distraction next time.

Unfortunately it seemed that Sarah had also been distracted. For you see the chicken Reeney had picked up was none other then the Golden Clucky Chicken of Destiny.

( Inside joke, don't even ask.)

Sarah : DROP THE CLUCKY CHICKEN!!

Lyn : I need coffee….lots of coffee.

Ryou : SPARTA!!!!

Sarah :Also, congratulations to Reeney, on her new GF!!

Reeney : -glares- You aren't getting back the chicken.

Lyn : Nice try.


End file.
